Harriet Harman looking good

Yesterday someone took a picture of me while I was day dreaming about when I become Prime Minister. Don't I look smart and cute? Certainly a lot better than Jacqui Smith, who was struggling to pay attention to what Gordon was saying and is getting more haggard looking by the minute. The poisoned chalice position of Home Secretary is clearly taking its toll.

At least she's started covering up her cleavage a bit now. Personally, I think the only reason Jacqui ever got noticed was because she stuck her 36DDs out, very vulgar and totally deserving of that caricature on Headcases.

Speaking of which.. I wonder when they'll do me. Surely I am important enough to have someone spoof me by now?

Harriet Harman is not a hypocrite!

Some silly people are calling me a hypocrite by criticizing Blair for taking a donation from Richard Desmond and then knowingly taking a donation from David Abrahams.

O shut up will you!

First of all, you cannot even compare the two situations. I wouldn't be caught dead taking money from a man who publishes explicit, disgusting pictures of a woman's Chamber of Venus for consumption by dirty old men.
The fact that Desmond's donation was completely legal while Abrahams was not is completely irrelevant. People really need to get their priorities straight!

The Desmond donation stank to high heaven. Sadly not all women MPs care very much about the publication of these dirty magazines, one of the great moral outrages of our time.

Usual suspect, D-List celeb and nudey actress, Glenda Jackson MP of course had no problem with it, saying:
"Pornography is not illegal. We are perfectly happy to canvas for the votes of people who create a market for those products by buying them," she said. "I don't believe in censorship and I don't see why if someone is very rich they should not be allowed to do more for the political life of their country than vote."

Unsurprising really. Jack and I made the unfortunate mistake of renting a video starring a fellow Labour MP. Needless to say, I was shocked. It's called "Women in Love".
DO NOT WATCH IT.

There is a terrible scene where she is mud-wrestling in the nude with some other woman. They looked like a pair of filthy lesbos. It took ages for poor Jack to get the nasty images out of his mind.

Is it any wonder the woman is a supporter of the P*rn and dirty magazine industry?

Lying Dawn Butler

Poor Dawn Butler. It's hard enough being a woman without being black as well and having to put up with such awful comments from Tory Lord Snootys. Ewww.

She is backed by Diane Abbott, the only other black woman in the Commons, who said that she had suffered 20 years of prejudice. 'In the beginning, some of it was sheer ignorance. I remember being shocked when a Labour MP asked me once whether we celebrated Christmas in Jamaica,' said Abbott, Labour MP for Hackney North and Stoke Newington.

I thought must be true as it was backed up by Diane Abbott who as I've mentioned before, is very clever although sometimes uppity. However I was quite shocked that a Labour MP would ask such an offensive question as everyone knows that Christmas is an English tradition. But then Dawn accuses MPs from all parties as being racists.

Clearly the story is not true. It is a fact that there are no racists in the labour party. None. Not One. Labour MPs like myself, take great pains to reach out to ethnic minorities to make them feel comfortable. Remember how I said I regularly wear Indian outfits to meet Indian constituents? Well I didn't say it then so as not to sound like I was bragging, but I also wear afro-caribbean outfits ones when my black constituents are around too. This pleases them very much.

In fact, just to prove it. Here are some pictures of me on my 25th anniversary of becoming an MP. I invited all these ethnic minorities to Portcullis House to show how inclusive Labour is and just so they didn't feel like they did not belong, I wore my kente scarf across my jacket. Kente is a type of fabric from Ghana, which as you should know is one of the largest countries in the Caribbean!

This proves my point
QED.

Difficulties with All Black Shortlists

I suppose when talking about the recent successes, I should also mention the recent difficulties.
It is not easy being Minister of Equalities I have to tell you.
You try to help people and they turn round and stab you in the back (no pun intended).

I'd been working with Operaton Black Vote on proposals to increase ethnic minority representation last month. We settled on all black shortlists, seeing as all-women shortlists have helped increase the number of female MPs, all black shorlists would be a no-brainer, right? WRONG!

Half a second after the proposals are made public, Sadiq Khan MP and Khalid Mahmood MP take a shit all over my ideas. Who are these upstarts anyway? And what do they mean by "political apartheid"?
Some people just don't understand that blacks and asians need our help unless there are pictures of hungry black and asian orphans covered in flies on our TV screens. Perhaps that's the solution?

And for those pointing out that all black shortlists would contravene the Race Relations Act 1976. If it's unlawful, I, Harriet Harman QC MP will make it lawful!!

Luckily, the wonderful Diane Abbott MP, feminist, socialist and of course female wrote a letter the next day in TheIndependent. Diane thinks they are silly and selfish, basically. Too Right!
Diane is eminently qualified on the subject of all black shortlists. For one thing she is properly black and not merely Asian. Secondly, she has many achievements. She isn't perfect of course, - she supported John Cruddas in the deputy leadership contest against me because I wasn't working class enough and I will never forgive her for that. But to give her credit, she was the first black female MP ever, this is something that even I haven't achieved yet. Also she has achieved many other things. She is still the first black female MP ever and I can't think off the top of my head what the others are right now, but she's certainly achieved them!