This IS my moment!

A question from an anonymous reader yesterday:

"Please tell us more about how you feel as a powerful independent woman, having 10 Downing Street to yourself, as a sampler of your wonderful future."

Well, since you asked...It feels GREAT!

Why just yesterday, I invited my entire family round to Number 10 to get a feel of the place and to take curtain measurements for when we move in after party conference. As you probably know, our house on Winterbrook Road is mortaged to the hilt and the incessant Fathers4 Justice campaigners are getting rather tedious now. The sooner we can leave Herne Hill, the better.

Poor Jack looked so uncomfortable in the luxurious surroundings. Let this be a warning to all of you considering marrying outside your social class.. don't do it! My weakness for bald men of Irish extraction* is what got me into this mess, but I digress.

I gave a wonderful interview earlier, wearing my lucky jacket**, batting my eyelids seductively whenever a difficult question was asked. Gordon as usual was spitting as his reckless decision not to make me Deputy Prime Minister has done me no harm whatsoever as I am a much better performer than he ever will be. Never underestimate the power of the eyelids, people. Never. I learnt that from Princess Diana who is my idol (obviously!). It works like a charm every time.

Yes, I might have denied it in public, but this really is my moment.

*with a hint of jewish, although not enough to raise any eyebrows

** Overheard: Jacqui Smith thinks that I look like a fat cow in it. This from a woman who has yet to learn the subtle art of power dressing and thinks that getting her tits out is a sign of authority. The bitch will pay, don't you worry about that.

Peckham Precautions

The Daily Mail bastards have continued today with their hateful campaign against me.

I know this is supposed to be my Happy Blog, but how is Harriet supposed to stay happy when that awful paper insists on writing articles on a daily basis solely to humiliate and ultimately destroy me?

This morning they published my aide's pictures of me in a stab proof jacket during a police walkabout in Peckham yesterday. The pictures were of course meant only for local newspapers to show what a great job I'm doing here, not for outrageous and ludicrous accusations.

The fucking mail article, (written by two men of course) deliberately misquotes me.
"'It is absolutely crucial to have neighbourhood policing which is visible,' she wrote. 'People feel safer when there is a police presents (sic)."
As you can see below, at no point did I say sick on my website. The idiots can't even spell the bloody word, let alone misquote it properly!
Like I told John Humprhys on the Today programme earlier, it was a matter of courtesy and I often wear Indian outfits to make my indian constituents feel more comfortable. It shows just how inferior English culture is that they make women my age cover up their tummies. I wore that stab proof jacket as a matter of courtesy. You have to show respect on the streets of Peckham and that's all I was doing. Humprhys spent the whole interview laughing. What a shit. He's just another evil man who can't handle a successful woman who holds down 5 jobs at a time.

You Ask The Questions: Harriet Harman MP

I am featured in this morning's edition of the Independent.
The Independent lets people like me who are very busy answer questions from ordinary and average people. I'm a bit disappointed that I am referred to as Harriet Harman MP. They should know that it is actually Harriet Harman QC MP. Very few women actually make it to QC. Most of them have to be barristers and stand up in court and other masculine things, but I proved a point that you don't have to be masculine to be successful.

For instance I am a successful blogger and web publisher with not one but two blogs! Both in pretty feminine colours. This in red and my other blog in lilac with loverly girly writing. I did this without having any porn on my blog either. One day I will ban porn.

I was very angry when some horrible man (as usual) asked if as a feminist, I was proud of Margaret Thatcher. I hate it when people ask me about Thatcher. My response?

No, because she was out to prove she was as every bit as nasty as all the men in her cabinet. Feminism is about progressive politics and solidarity with other women. Thatcher was neither.

Quite frankly, Margaret Thatcher becoming the first woman Prime Minister does not count as she had to act like a man to get there. She did everything but the sex-op! Sorry, but it's true and someone has to say it.

Labour is the only party that has provided high ranking feminine secretary of states. We provided the first female home secretary and the first female foreign secretary. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but having been elected Deputy Leader of the Labour Party I am pretty much the most successful British female politician of all time. I did this without becoming a man, masculine or doing manly things. No one else has achieved what I have.

I don't think the Tory Party can ever produce a feminine woman Prime Minister. Everyone knows that women are nice and not nasty and tory women are nasty and if you ask me a bunch of she-dogs to boot (no, I won't use the b-word, no good feminist does).