Labour NEC Finances in Excellent Health

I've just been pointed to Bastard Ben Brogan's blog post last Thursday. He says

The new general secretary is said to be worried about the state of the party's finances and the rules that say his personal assets could be forfeit if the party goes into liquidation.

Basically, he is saying that members of Labour's National Executive Committee (NEC) would be liable for the loans we took from wealthy people in exchange for peerages. First of all, this is utter crap. If the labour party had financial difficulties, I, Harriet Harman as Deputy Leader would be the first to hear about it. Secondly, as my husband is the labour party treasurer, I know the party finances are in excellent shape, loans or no loans, just as sure as we all know that Alistair Darling will keep the bank of England interest rates low.

The usual suspects, like Fatty Fawkes make hay with scurrilous rumours, but what really annoys me is when our own labour party members start spreading the gossip. LabourHome, the website run by disloyal labour party member and part-time blogger, Alex Hilton, put their version about a few months ago

Do you honestly think that a committe with Gordon Brown (Britain's best ever chancellor!) Jack Dromey, Harriet Harman and Dennis Skinner among others could ever be so stupid to bankrupt ourselves to the tune of £14 million? EXACTLY!

Recent Successes - One for the Barmaids!

Seeing as yesterday was such a good day, and I have some time off, I might as well tell you about some of the other successful things that I've done.

I strongly believe that women who work daily navigate a maze with degradation and harassment at every corner and awful bullying men ready to pounce opportunity to make life harder for them.

So I thought to myself "What can Harriet Harman, Minister for Women do about that?"
This is where it comes in handy having 5 jobs. As Deputy Leader of Labour, Party Chairman, Minister for Women, Minister for Equalities, Leader of the House of Commons and Lord Privy Seal, (surely this must be a world record!) pretty much everything is my business.

So I had a look at my Big Book of Ambiguous EU Laws. It is a goldmine for the legislator with plenty of time on her hands to make a new law or two.

I found the perfect solution - The European Equal Treatment Directive. Craftily, I used a statutory instrument so this new law does not require a division or debate in Parliament to force in regulations. The best part though is that from Sunday 6th April 2008 my new law can impose unlimited penalty upon employers for allowing harassment to happen even if they had nothing to do with it! YES!

As usual the Daily Mail Swine ever quick to uphold the rights of bullying evil men have pointed out how pub landlords can now be sued if someone calls a barmaid 'luv'
I ask you, What is wrong with that? Why should a barmaid be subjet to such humiliating behaviour?
Most barmaids are poor working class women. They need someone who knows what's good for them to represent their interests in parliament basically. They need a high powered, intelligent and well-educated woman with good social connections to take care of them.
I've said it before and will say it again, we in labour aren't afraid of being called the nanny state

No doubt the poor dears have been waiting for this law so that they can work in peace without being disturbed by the disgusting advances of lecherous drunks -and any employer whose customers try and chat up one of them can expect to get slapped with a big fat law suit!

I, Harriet Harman have single-handedly made pubs a much better place for women to work in.

I wonder if there is a way for me to get male customers from trying to chat up females in a bar. Why stop at the employees? I know I never liked it when I saw other girls being approached by strange men in the pubs. Luckily it never happened to me, but I know that no woman likes it.
Women going to pubs and bars for a drink do not want to be chatted up! I certainly never did and look how well i've turned out.
Now where's my Big Book of Ambiguous EU Laws?

Peckham Precautions

The Daily Mail bastards have continued today with their hateful campaign against me.

I know this is supposed to be my Happy Blog, but how is Harriet supposed to stay happy when that awful paper insists on writing articles on a daily basis solely to humiliate and ultimately destroy me?

This morning they published my aide's pictures of me in a stab proof jacket during a police walkabout in Peckham yesterday. The pictures were of course meant only for local newspapers to show what a great job I'm doing here, not for outrageous and ludicrous accusations.

The fucking mail article, (written by two men of course) deliberately misquotes me.
"'It is absolutely crucial to have neighbourhood policing which is visible,' she wrote. 'People feel safer when there is a police presents (sic)."
As you can see below, at no point did I say sick on my website. The idiots can't even spell the bloody word, let alone misquote it properly!
Like I told John Humprhys on the Today programme earlier, it was a matter of courtesy and I often wear Indian outfits to make my indian constituents feel more comfortable. It shows just how inferior English culture is that they make women my age cover up their tummies. I wore that stab proof jacket as a matter of courtesy. You have to show respect on the streets of Peckham and that's all I was doing. Humprhys spent the whole interview laughing. What a shit. He's just another evil man who can't handle a successful woman who holds down 5 jobs at a time.