First of all, let me heave a sigh of relief. PPPHHHHHHEEEWW!
My luck seems to be in this month, doesn't it?
The Guardian reports that the Electoral Commission has decided not to refer me to the police.
opting for a slap on my delicate wrists instead. I suppose fair's fair, Ho! Hum!
I've been worried sick about this issue for the last 6 months.
Yes, I know I haven't said much about it, but only because this is my HAPPY blog for HAPPY news. It wouldn't be appropriate to have posts like "My Donations Disgrace" up here!
Sadly, I will have to pay the £5,000 back. I'm not sure if it should go to Janet Kidd or David Abrahams. I'll ask Jack, he is very good at working out these complex issues.
Not sure where the refund money will come from though, I've already re-mortgaged the house and taken a £10,000 overdraft from the bank and thrown a rather unsuccessful fundraiser. My sister Sarah also lent me £18,000 (Yeah, good luck getting that back, sis. You will have to prise the money out of my cold dead fingers!). It's unlikely she'll fork out another 5 grand.
Where does a woman like me get that kind of money from?
I might have to get out my Big Book of Ambiguous EU laws for help.
Any ideas readers? Perhaps I can rustle up a statutory instrument very quickly that could allow MPs to claim double pay overtime for any hours worked past 5pm. It will probably fall somewhere under flexible-working or "work-life balance".
Don't think for one second that it can't be done.
I am the Leader of the House and financial scandal or no, the supreme minister in charge of MPs pay, pensions and expenses, I can make it happen!