Friday, July 25, 2008

A Glasgow Kiss

So....we lost Glasgow East.
I have to admit I am not surprised.
I knocked on the door of many a Glasgow oik, and I could tell that they were intimidated by my rank and femininity.

I had to keep an inane grin on (see above pic), as these filthy peasants slammed their doors in my face, and wouldn't talk to me unless i got a hairy Scottish oaf (Des Browne see below) to do the talking while the women kept back!

The ignominy! The SNP candidate meanwhile was invited in for cups of sugary tea. I knew then that all was lost.

The reason for this terrible result, as with most things in this country is sexism.
It is not a co-incidence that our recent beleagured candidates, Tamsin Dunwoody, Margaret Curran and even Wendy Alexander have all been women.

The men of Glasgow East, like those in Crewe clearly could not rise above their prejudice to do the right thing and vote for Labour.
Labour has done so much for this impoverished area which is quite similar to my own constituency of Peckham - I'd be just as likely to wear a stab vest around the Glasgow East council estates for instance.

With any luck this by-election result will be the last nail in Gordon's coffin and I can finally take over and become Britain's first female prime minster. I will then be able to implement more aggressive equality bills e.g all-women shortlists whenever there is a vacancy for a FTSE100 chief executive. I can assure you there would be no credit crunch if women had been making the decisions in the banks and companies nationwide.


Ben said...

Just put it behind you, Harriet, draw a line under it, move on. It's obvious they don't deserve you, these sexist ingrates. Probably, none of them went to a good school like you so they just don't know how to behave.

I'm just so sure that with your brilliant mind you'll find a way to get your revenge on the whole lot of them, once you become PM.

Anonymous said...

make sure you don't read aristotle's reasoning behind the fall of sparta happy harri!!

Anonymous said...

I see that your friends at the BBC are playing the game with you in saying that you are not campaigning to be PM.

Good to see that you have put hubby Jack in the background at this time; but please be careful to see that he is not writing some 'Dear Dennis' type diary.

Please tell us more about how you feel as a powerful independent woman, having 10 Downing Street to yourself, as a sampler of your wonderful future.

Anonymous said...

Quentin Letts may have some insight here into some of my wonderful feminist plans I intend to implement when (not if) I am PM; but in typical male fashion, he does something we women have had to endure (until now), a pro-male bias. (H.H.):

"What if Harriet Harperson was PM"

Happy Harriet Harman said...

Thank you for your kind words, Ben.

Anonymous reader, you must be referring to this article by Quentin Letts, the semi-literate Daily Mail hack who has it in for me. Alas, I have read it.

It's pretty much spot on, except that I would never have Jacqui Smith in my cabinet as she is a slut and sellout, always shoving her tits into everyone's face at cabinet.

Rather, I would have put Tessa Jowell there, but he failed to mention that. Shows how much he knows!

Anonymous said...

Harriet, I love you to bits, but can you please, as a personal favour to me, stop complaining about Jacqui Smith's embonpoint, if I can put it, ahem, 'dellocet-ly', if you get my drift..

So of us middle-aged chaps have little enough to look forward to in life, and simple things please simple minds, and there is a danger of her paying attention to your diatribes and covering up her bosom for good, thus depriving us chaps [and the cartoonists!] of the sight of her magnificent cleavage...

And wouldn't the world be a poorer place for it...

Anonymous said...

As a 14 year old and male, even i can see that it is more than evident the current goverment couldn't give a 'flying poodles' about equality. The only reason Feminism & Masculism exist is to overide the other of specific rights. "History repeats itself", so as femimism goes up masculism down, just give it, say another hundred years and mens rights will be specifically on the agenda and rightly so. Think of it more like a tenis ball going over from one court to the other. I feel that the goverment can effectivly stop this injustice and inequality and do more to promote equal rights for both genders. Furthermore, all young people in my school etc, know how much labour have promimently messed and distinctively depleted this country of equality and justice.