Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Aunty Diluvian

I know you're wondering where I've been.
Undercover, that's where. It's a dangerous time to be a member of the labour party. We are not popular at all, not even with ourselves.

I really need to blog about something else other than Labour issues right now which are just too depressing. Something that will cheer me up. Hmm... Let's see.. How about Nadine Dorries? She's always good for a laugh. "Who?" I hear you ask. Exactly.

Nadine is a backbench Tory nobody (who as my constiutents would say, "thinks she is all that"). Whenever people complain about the poor quality of female labour MPs, I point smugly at the crazy lady sitting on the Tory benches who single-handedly makes us look like the army of competent intellectual professionals we know ourselves to be.

Yesterday, Nadine complained that another Tory MP, John Bercow, used BIG words that she didn't understand like p-r-e-j-u-d-i-c-e-d and then continues:

Antediluvian isn’t a word you hear much on the housing estates across Britain, so I had to ask what it meant*.

Well Quite. My personal experience is that you don't hear many words on housing estates, people there prefer to communicate by a series of grunts and growls.
I think it is rather rude of Nadine to speak ofthe working classes -her own people, in such a fashion. Perhaps someone should tell her that a housing estate is not the best place to go if one needs to improve one's diction.

It is shocking though. This is a word that is used many times in parliament. We tend to use a lot of big words in the house you know. It's not a place for illiterate old nurses. Clearly, she should have checked her dictionary during the debates then, not just assumed we were talking about some MP's relative! At least she she had the good sense to finally ask someone yesterday, even though she still got the meaning of the word wrong.

Before a flood apparently

No, Dear. Before THE Flood. Not just any flood, or all floods, Nadine. Sheesh.
Presumably now she thinks that John Bercow was referring to her as something that happens before a flood -A sort of giant sandbag perhaps?
She then uses the word 5 more times (practice makes perfect!) although never seems to quite grasp its meaning.

The good thing though is that unlike me, Nadine does not allow comments on her blog, which means that no one will be able to correct her and we can all have a good laugh for a while. Yes Mid Bedfordshire, read it and weep. This is the woman YOU voted for, who represents your views in parliament. Remember that next time you write a letter to your MP and use simple words or textspeak.

*Will someone please get the woman a dictionary for Christmas? It is too risky letting her "ask somebody".


Anonymous said...

Don't understand it on the housing estates of Britain? How many housing estates are there in Mid-Barsetshire or wherever it is Loopy Loo represents? Or does she mean "estate" in the sense of those estates with 24 acres, 5 butlers, and room for a pony?

Devil's Kitchen said...

Genius! Pure genius...

Anonymous said...

Calm down, dear - remember Nadine is used to only dealing with 'dirty gippos' [no offence - that is her opinion of the Roma] and if she was 'intellectual' then it would be very difficult for her to stick with her stone age views on modern woman.

Not like you, eh, Harriet, for whom 'The Pill' and the Sexual Revolution could have been invented ! Mwah !