As you might have guessed, I get a lot of letters and emails from my fans. Most of them are not worth responding to, however occasionally, I will waive this rule, if I am bored or angry enough, or if the person is really, really nice. I will share my correspondence with you as often as I can.
Today's letter comes from my No. 1 Fan*
9th June 2008
I nearly choked on my cornflakes this morning, reading about your imbroglio with Fathers 4 Justice. The ignominy!
I fully sympathise with your plight, it must be hard being Harriet Harman. I am so impressed by how in the last 3 months, you have single-handedly proved New Labour's commitment to this country's security. First of all, a thorough understanding of electronic security measures before the introduction of ID cards as aptly shown by your choice of such a secure password.
Secondly, you marvellously set a good example on the effective tackling of personal security issues, by wearing a stab vest in your own constituency. Finally yesterday, a clear demonstration of how well versed in anti-terrorism procedures our most important government officials must be, judging from the great difficulty, those 2 men in their costumes managed to climb onto your rooftop without rousing you from slumber! Presumably you left the front door open so they could get in without making too much noise...ingenious.
I do hope that you continue to grace the front page of my newspaper with your zeal and efforts. The Labour Party is lucky to have you.
So kind isn't she?
Thank you for your kind words. I do think you are being over-generous, at least one of those above incidents was regarded as a pretty monumental cock-up on my part, but if you didn't notice, then probably no one else did either, so shhhhh and tell no one!
It is nice to know that I have some fans out there and your emails are always appreciated. Please keep writing and let me know what initiatives and ideas you would like to see from me and the Department for Equalities and whatsits (I keep forgetting the name). Your suggestions are always welcome, especially as I have recently run out of new schemes to implement.
The Right Honourable, Harriet Harman QC MP
Leader of the House of Commons
Minister for Women
Minister for Equality
Deputy Leader of the Labour Party
Chairwoman of the Labour Party
Devoted Wife and Mother.
*I am judging from the frequency of her emails. To be honest, I can't tell if she's a real person or not. Best to err on the side of caution.